Where I'm Going I don't Know
by EllieLocke
Summary: Mel is turning 17 the same day she's having a huge midterm at Uni. She's having a party afterwards; she thinks she has everything under control. But how can you have everything under control when you're best friends with Harry Judd? fic before McFLY time
1. Chapter 1

McFLY is property of Universal; Danny, Dougie, Tom and Harry don't belon to me -sadly- but to their moms lol. I'm writing this without funding aims.

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**MEL'S POINT OF VIEW**

**I remember that night as if it were yesterday – after all, it was that sunrise of my 17th birthday that had changed ****my life as I knew it.**

"**Mel, why don't you go to bed? You've been staring at that screen for hours, it's not going to change, you know? What you haven't learned so far you won't learn in the four hours you've got until you have to wake up. Go get some rest, don't be stupid," Gi, my roommate and best friend said. I knew she was right, but I also knew I was not ready to set for that exam.**

**With heaviness and pouting I got up from the couch that was against a window on our living room, took my laptop and my notes and made my way to my room. I said goodbye to Gi, who wished me a 'Happy Birthday' for the millionth time since I'd turned 17 three hours ago. I closed the door of my room behind me, placed everything on my desk and went into the bathroom to have a warm shower.**

**I was now fast asleep, when freaking the hell out of me, my cell phone rang loudly on my beside table. I stretched out with my hand and flipped it open, letting my arm take its original position next to my head. I didn't speak since I was too tired to, so I just wondered who was the bloody idiot that rang people at 4 a.m.**

"**Mel!" Loud music and people talking was heard on the other end. How naïve of me, not to realize that there was one person I knew that would go out the night before a midterm and still get excellent results. He happened to be my best friend – we'd known each other since we were kids and had been to Elementary School together.**

"**Mmm" I answered groaning and wanting to yell at him for having woken me.**

"**Do you think you could maybe – well – pick me up?" I heard Harry's voice yelling into the speaker of his mobile phone.**

"**Pick you up? What the fuck? Har, are you drunk?" I sat up on my bed, lit the lamp that was on my bedside table and with my hand I rubbed my eyes a little bit so that they would stay open.**

"**Who said I was drunk? No, I'm just here with the guys at the pub I always go to – how's it called Dougie?"**

**So he was with Dougie, I knew it. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against Harry's mates, but I had the feeling that they weren't good influences upon him.**

"**Where are you exactly?" I asked annoyed, and took down with a pencil the address he gave me.**

"**Wait outside; I'll be there in 10,"**

**I put a red hoodie over my pyjamas - was too tired to change into something better, my jeans on and washed my face. I went into our living room, picked my car keys and placed my cell phone in my back pocket.**

"**Where are you going?" Gi asked yawning as she came out of her room.**

"**Harry called love, he asked me to pick him up... he sounded drunk, so I don't think he knows he called me, or if he did, it was unconsciously… anyway, the point is be right back, go to bed,"**

**I knew her so well, that the look she gave me which was accompanied by eyes rolling, was more than enough for me to get everything she was trying to say. I knew she didn't like him, but she'd always fancied one of his friends, so she ended up hanging around us either way.**

"**Come on Gi, we'll talk about this later, go to bed, will you?" I said putting now my hand on the door knob.**

"**Fine, but one day you'll realize how sick the relationship you two have and I'll say 'I told you so,'" she grumped, and closed her door behind her.**

**I shook my head and giggled a little bit... what was up with her lately?**

**I drove for about twenty minutes and almost got lost, but I finally recognized the place Harry had mentioned. Soon enough I caught sight of Harry and Dougie laughing extremely loud by the entrance to the pub. I got down of the car and went over to where they were, a bit annoyed by this point.**

**As Dougie saw me, he threw his arms around my shoulders and almost feel asleep there. "Douglas, get off me."**

"**Chill out, mate. I was just saying hi," he said taken aback.**

**Harry merely stood there, laughing.**

**Seeing as it was almost five in the morning and I had to give an important exam in no time, AND considering that it was after all my birthday, all I wanted to do was to punch him right in the middle of the face.**

"**I would chill out if you said hi at ten, eleven or twelve. Not at five in the morning. We have a test tomorrow, and you may not care about it, but I do. Now, you ladies wanna talk for much longer or can we go?"**

**Both of them lowered their heads and got into the car. Without saying a single word, we got to campus alright. We parked the car and Dougie made his way to his room, which he shared with Tom. As for Harry, we were both in the same building, me with Gi and him with Danny.**

**We slowly walked there; I was helping Harry keep his balance.**

**I walked him to his door, knowing he wouldn't find it as he was – very, very drunk. "Thanks Mel, you truly are amazing," he managed to say, more calmed now, as he looked for his keys.**

"**Don't worry Har… I'll come to do one last revision before the midterm, ok?"**

"**Sure,"**

**I was walking down to my room when I heard somebody yelling my name.**

"**Meli?" Harry's voice it was, shyly calling out for me.**

"**What hon?" I asked not looking back.**

"**I don't have my keys and Danny's not answering."**

**Without turning round, I said "Come on, you can stay with me tonight,"**

**Fine, just what I needed. I couldn't get that fucking midterm off my mind… I would suck so badly at it! It was just a couple of hours left before I had to wake up.**

"**Thank you for all this, babe," he said as he dragged of his shirt and threw himself next to me, in my king size bed. "You sure you don't mind me being here? I can stay in the living room, you need to rest…"**

"**Shut it, it's ok! Really, you'll be uncomfortable there… besides, it'll only be a couple of hours." I put my hand against the pillow, tired as I was.**

**I looked to my side, and there he was, with his beautiful blue eyes, looking back at me, calmly.**

"**You still feeling dizzy?"**

"**Not anymore, thank you. Mel, I'm sorry for having called you…" he said, looking at the roof.**

"**Glad you're better… we should get to bed hon, don't you think? It's kind of late already…" I whispered, right after I'd turned off the lamp by my beside table.**

"**We should." He agreed.**

**I turned round, so I was facing the wall, and closed my eyes, sighing. Suddenly, a pair of arms I recognized at once was taking hold of me, tightly. I immediately turned around to find that Harry was now inches from my face.**

"**Harry, what on Earth are you doing?" I asked puzzled being taken aback.**

**He shushed me, and spoke still in whispers "I do love you since you're my best friend, but sometimes, you just have to learn and live a little more and ask a little less."**

"**Harry, stop, you're drunk and blabbering."**** I kept trying to get away from him but I couldn't bring myself to do that.**

**He still kept hold of me, and was now a bit closer. He raised his eyebrows at me, as if giving me the chance to go if I wanted to. I gulped, sighed and closed my eyes the moment I felt him coming closer to me.**

"**Mel," he said when his lips where almost brushing mine.**

"**Yes?" I looked into his amazing blue eyes which were glowing.**

"**Happy birthday,"**

**I smiled and blushed, but fortunately since the lights were off he couldn't notice that. He kissed me softly in the lips, and without thinking, I kissed him back.**


	2. Chapter 2

**HARRY'S POINT OF VIEW**

**I remember getting up that morning and having a big poster of Wentworth Miller in front of me. The first thought that crossed my head was why was I in Mel's room, under her coverts, and how had I got there. When I was still trying to figure that out, I felt something moving next to me. **

_**Why am I **__**naked**__** in Mel's bed with her next to me? Fuck. I couldn't have – no, Mel wouldn't have allowed it – slept with her? Seriously? But she's just my friend! Harry you don't fancy your friends! That's not right.**_

**Absolutely freaked out I made my best not to wake her while I got up, picked my clothes and got into the bathroom to get changed. I took my cell phone from my pocket and dialed my room's number.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Mate, do you know what I did last night?"**

**"Errr… I barely remember what I did, so no. Why are we whispering?" Danny asked.**

**"I'm in Mel's bathroom; I don't want to wake her."**

**"You could've asked me to use it, I wasn't gonna be showering all morning you know – there was no need for you to use hers."**

**"You're so thick. Danny I think Mel and I – last night – I was off with Dougie and – somehow," I sighed, totally panicking.**

**I was absolutely lost. Didn't have the slightest idea of how had I got there, or what had happened. I hoped to god I hadn't got that far with her – the only idea of loosing her was killing me. **

**"Oh shit. That sucks mate." He said, being comprehensive. Danny was one of the only ones I could speak about everything and not feel embarrassed, cause I know that he'd be there and listen to me when I needed to.**

**"You ready for the midterm?" I asked trying to change the subject.**

**"Yeah, I think so. You?"**

**"Dunno, tell you after I've woken up."**

**We both chucked, and I head a scream coming from the outside. **

**"I think she's up, I better go," I said to Danny.**

**"Cheers lad, meet you in the class room?"**

**"Yeah, thanks. Bye."**

**GI'S POINT OF VIEW**

**I woke up with the alarm blasting out of my cell phone and got out of bed. I got dressed and got into the kitchen, taking my laptop there for once last check at my midterm papers. As I waited for the coffee to be made, I peeked into Mel's room to find her still asleep. Weird, since she'd told me she'd get up to make one last revision at everything… at least that's what she always did. **

**I went over her side and woke her up, wishing her a happy birthday.**

"**Five more minutes, please…" she groaned. **

**I giggled and moved her a little bit to wake her up fully. "Love, we've got to get up now. We've got an exam in two hours, remember?" **

**She immediately sat on her bed, her hair messy and a long face. **

"**Two hours you said?! But I'd sat my alarm!" suddenly her face changed, as she saw a wrist watch on her bedside table. She gasped, put her hand over her mouth, looked at me, looked at the pillow on her bed and yelled loudly. **

_**Freak.**_

"**Err… Mel? What's wrong?" I dared to ask. **

**She still didn't say a word, but looked at me. She took her laptop, sat on her desk facing the wall, and started revising without mouthing more than "Gi, could you please bring me some coffee when it's done? We'll talk later when we've already given the test, I swear."**

**She was panicking. I'd seen her react in many different ways, being a nervous wreck every time we had to get ready for a midterm as important as this. But I'd ****never**** seen her so freaked out before. **

"**Sure hon…" **

**I was going to her side to try talking to her once more, see if there was anything I could do for her, when her bathroom door opened and out of it walked Harry.**

_**What the fuck?**_

"**Mel," he said scratching the back of his head.**

"**Harry I'm studying, please go away." She indifferently said, not looking at him but at her laptop computer where she was typing incessantly. **

**He looked puzzled at me, and said before leaving "See you tonight at your party I guess?"**

"**Yeah, sure." Again, coldly, she responded.**

**After he closed the door of our apartment, I looked at her frowning and didn't move until she gave me a proper explanation of what had happened the previous night. It took me at least twenty minutes to calm her down, and they would've been more if it wasn't for the fact that we had only an hour and a half left to study now. Yes, we were nerdies. So what.**

"**I just don't want to lose him Gi. And he probably won't remember anything about last night, I shouldn't have done anything. But I couldn't help it, before I knew it we were kissing and well... yeah, you know."**

**It came a knock on our door, and it was me who after patting her back reassuringly, went to see who it was. **

"**Hello gorgeous," Danny said as he walked into our place. "It's not fair, how can you look so awake at this hour?" he pouted.**

"**The miracles of make up… and coffee. Want some? I just made it." I smiled at him and poured coffee on a mug. Yes, I might have been flirting with him. **

**I went to check if Mel was ok, and after giving her some coffee and leaving her to revise I sat in the living room with Danny, to have break fast and clear our last doubts before the test. It was a big one, and this time –for the first time since I'd known him- he had actually studied a lot, since I'd helped him. **

**He took the mug I'd handed him and as he sat on the sofa next to me he drunk a little bit. His curls were still wet, since he had showered just a little while ago from what he'd told me. **

**An hour went by, and before we knew it I was making my way to class with Mel and Danny.**


	3. Chapter 3

**MEL'S POINT OF VIEW**

**Okay, speaking of sucking badly. That midterm went awful. Couldn't focus for a single moment there, I completed the blue books almost without looking at them, so I don't expect an A, which would be the usual me, but will get most probably a C. You wanna know the worst part? All I can think of is why I slept with my best friend last night. There are so many people on the world, why fuck things up with Harry? Yes, of course I was frustrated, irritated and feeling helpless. I'd looked over his direction twice or so during the exam, and he returned the gaze forcing an awkward smile. I hated myself for having ruined it… now things between Harry and me would obviously be different, and not in the good sense of the word.**

"**So, how are you feeling hun?" Gi said as she placed her left arm around my shoulder while we were walking back to our room. **

"**Dunno, tired I guess… you? How did it go?" I looked at her to find her typing a reply on her cell phone. "So… Danny and you, eh?"**

"**What are you talking about?"**

"**Don't play dumb on my, Gi. I know you think the boys are idiots and you only hang with them and us because you've got a crush for Danny."**

"**How would you know that?!" Being apprehensive, she asked wonderingly.**

"**You need to learn and not talk on your sleep baby. So, will you answer my question?"**

"**There's nothing to answer… we're just friends."**

"**Right. And I'm in love with my brother." I rolled my eyes, she giggled, and we walked into our hall. **

"**Whatever… so what are you doing today Mel?" she asked me.**

"**Well, I'm meeting up with my family for lunch in around an hour or so, at the restaurant we always go to near the centre. Then I'm going out shopping with cousins, and back here to get some rest and clean up before the party tonight. What will you be up to?"**

"**Dunno, I might go and buy some stuff I need, you know, the usuals."**

"**Ok, so I'm gonna take a shower… see you tonight then hun?"**

"**Yes, but no long faces allowed, just sexiness."**

"**Yeah, cause I'm gonna find somebody who enjoys looking at me." I said sarcastically, and Gi shouted back " You won't with that attitude - bring sexy back baby!" **

**We chuckled and giggled. I closed my bathroom door behind me and stepped into the shower.**

**HARRY'S POINT OF VIEW**

"**So, how did you guys do?" I asked Doug, Danny and Tom as we were sitting in the cafeteria having lunch after the exam.**

"**Pretty good, I reckon. I think I'll do good, actually" Danny said in a self sufficient tone.**

"**You always say that and it's never true!" Tom and I laughed at Dougie's remark while Danny nudged him in the arm.**

"**So, Harry has something to tell us…don't you?" Danny looked at me, and so did the others. I left my fork on my plate and after gulping I said, "Nothing happened…" avoiding their gazes which were fixed upon me.**

"**C'mon, you called me from Mel's bathroom really early and spent the night there!"**

"**So what, she's my friend… and it was you who didn't open the door! What was I going to do, sleep in the hallway? You guys sleep in a different building, I had no choice!" I defended myself, getting a bit moody. I don't know why, actually…why couldn't I just face it?**

**Then I felt somebody slapping me in the face. I looked up and saw Gi -Mel's friend- standing there, all red in the face.**

"**So you were just playing with her?! You fucking shit, you know how she feels about you and you-" she looked me up and down. "Argh, I knew this was going to happen. You disgust me!" She turned around and after making sure every single person in the cafeteria had heard her yelling, she left me there.**

**Of course now I had no choice but to tell them what had indeed happened.**

"**No way" Tom mouthed. We were now on our way to the nearest shopping center to get a birthday present for her.**

"**Yes, way. And now she'll probably won't want to talk to me ever again."**

"**You gotta do something about it! You can't leave it like that!" Danny was exasperated.**

"**But…what?" I asked.**

**They fell silent and so did I, thinking. Suddenly something came to my mind…**

**GI'S POINT OF VIEW **

**I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That bloody bastard, whom I knew as Mel's best friend was saying that… urgh, I couldn't take this anymore. I got up from my seat and walked up to where that idiot was talking with Danny and the others and without controlling myself I slapped him in the face. After letting my frustration out I got back to my room, and waited there for Mel to get back from her lunch with her family. I had to tell her, even if I was sure that would break her heart.**

**Two hours had passed, and two more…Finally, around four in the afternoon, I heard the click of her lock. She was here. I made my way to our common room.**

"**Hey!" she said grinning. "Look what mom got me!" All excited, she showed me her presents, and told me about the great time she had had.**

"**That's great hun!" I tried to hide my frustration as much as I could, but her frown proved me that I'd failed.**

"**What's wrong?" she asked.**

"**Hon, before I tell you this I think you should sit down…"**

"**What? Gi, you're worrying me…"**

**I closed my eyes, sighed, and told her about earlier. When I had finished, she was pale and tears were rolling incessantly down her cheeks.**

"**I'm so sorry Mel, I really am…"**

"**Are you sure about this?" she mouthed, speaking for the first time.**

**I nodded. "Babe…"**

"**And you slapped him?"**

"**Yeah, please don't be mad at me…"**

"**Thanks for telling me all this….I have to start getting ready for the party. We'll talk later, ok?" She jumped from her seat and walked to her room.**

"**Mel," I tried knocking on her door but she'd locked it and had put the maximum volume on her stereo.**

**I wished there was something I could do to make her feel better…but I couldn't think of anything.**

**Hoping things would get better afterwards, I got in my room and started fixing my hair-just a simple straightening it would do- putting my mascara and eye liner on and finally my brand new black and white strapless leg length dress. Just as I had finished the door bell rang.**

**People were arriving and I couldn't find Mel in her room. Panicking, I let them in and looked for her everywhere in our apartment. I was about to enter the living room when I heard somebody talking to me from behind.**

"**Hey Gi!"**

**I recognized that voice and turned around to find Danny Jones wearing a hoodie that matched my dress and dark jeans.**

"**Hey Danny. Have you seen Mel?"**

"**Wow, you look gorgeous! And no, I haven't seen her. Shouldn't she be here?" he looked at me, still in awe.**

"**Why thank you" I used the most flirtatious tone I could think of and after giggling I asked him to help me looking for her.**

_**Where the hell is she?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**HARRY'S POINT OF VIEW******

I sighed and after having spent fifteen long minutes looking at my own reflection in the mirror -thinking about what would happen now- I walked out of mine and Danny's dorm and down to Mel's.

I knocked and as I fixed my shirt I waited until Gi opened the door. I could notice she was frowning and looked stressed.

"Harry, have you seen Mel?"

"Err... shouldn't she be here?" I chuckled and walked into a room full of people laughing and having a good time. Danny was there too, with a Corona bottle on his right hand, giving Gi a little kiss on the collarbone.

"She seems to have gone missing, I can't find her anywhere!" Gi said with a little desperation on her voice. Danny placed his chin on her shoulder pad and wrapped his arms around her from behind, while looking at me.

"Have you looked in her room, mate?" he asked looking at me.  
I immediately walked into her room and looked everywhere, even in her bathroom - but she wasn't there. Suddenly, a voice I recognized at once came from the living room.

As I walked back there I caught sight of her. Her black, long, hair was shining and contrasted perfectly with her light and soft skin. A red, provocative, leg length, strapless dress fell upon her tiny body, matching her dark eyes. She was talking to some guys, laughing loudly. She looked really happy; and I felt my heart breaking a little bit inside me.

_**Come on Harry, you can do it. It's just Mel.**_****

I poked her shoulder and she turned around, so she was now facing me. Her eyes were fixed on mine: they stared quietly and indifferently at me.

"You came." She said coldly.

"Of course I came! We're friends, aren't we?" I attempted to giggle but most surely I just made myself look like a bigger fool than what I already was.

_**Just give it to her.**_

I don't want to lose her! What if she thinks I'm a loser, doesn't like it at all and never speaks to me again?

By the look on her face, she already thinks that. So it seems you've got nothing to lose, Harry Mark Christopher Judd.

Except for Mel.

Unless she says yes.

But if she doesn't?

You won't find out if you don't ask her, you idiot.

Could you just shut up? I'm trying to speak here.

Okay, okay. So you'll give it to her?

If you will get out of my head, yes.

We're out. Good luck mate.  
**  
"You ok?" Mel asked looking somewhat amused at my expression. I must've looked like shit. I would've thrown up if it wasn't for the fact that I was talking to Mel. My Mel.**

I closed my eyes and took her birthday present from my back pocket.

"Happy Birthday," I said, handing it to her.

She looked at the little purple box now laying in her palm and then at me, biting her bottom lip and blushing.

"Harry..." She started off, but I interrupted her. I wasn't ready to hear her say no beforehand.

"It's not what you think it is. Open it."

I sighed and felt my heart beating faster than ever before, anxious to see her expression. She looked puzzled when her fingers had opened it and had taken out the pair of silver keys.

Now everybody was directing their eyes towards her, and myself. I took a deep breath -tried my best not to faint- and said looking straight into her eyes "Mel, listen. I'm really sorry for what I said today, I really am. I guess I was afraid of admitting something that's been growing inside me lately. Afraid of knowing that loving you would change everything between us, because I like our relationship as it is. But the truth is that I can't do anything about it, what's done it's done, and last night... I realized that I do love you, Mel. And I don't care if things change because as long as you're there with me, it'll be ok. I felt more me when I was with you last night than I ever did before. And when you ignored me today... I kind of felt empty. It made me realize even more how much I care about you, about us. And I don't want to waste one more day. I know what I want, and that would be you. I know you'll think I'm totally out of my mind, and that I couldn't be possibly be serious about this - since we're so young and all that; but I'm more sure about this than I've ever been about anything in my entire life. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms; I wouldn't have it any other way. So, what do you say?" I now took a step closer and placed my arms tightly around her waist. A smiled appeared in her lips, and her eyes suddenly had their usual and yet special glow back. "Feel like moving into an apartment, just ten minutes from here... with me?" I whispered.

Mel put a hand in the back of my head and carefully whispered word per word into my ear.

"I love you too, Harry."

A grin from ear to ear plastered on my face. I couldn't possibly have felt any happier... I had her. Finally. I leaned in and kissed her, enjoying what would be the first of many more kisses to come.

**THE END**


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